fajitastic:

'do it for the vine'

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(via fake-mermaid)

kid: dad whats a 69
dad: well son, a 69 is when two people who love each other very much get together with a 6 and a 9 and a 5 6 7 8 [spotlight turns on] [dad breaks into jazz number]

kisslng:

this one time a girl told me we had the same name and I asked her what hers was

(Source: kisslng, via fake-mermaid)

oomshi:

time to do some spring cleaning

*wipes crumbs off bed*

done

(via bastille)

i was havin a great time until i remembered that i was ugly

(Source: antiteen, via fake-mermaid)

religiousmom:

The only joke my mom ever made was me

(Source: ttity, via bastille)

spicy-vagina-tacos:

youre-so-basic-it-hurts:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

thousands of followers but still stuck with 10 note selfies

the fuck

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you gotta be kidding me

(via bastille)